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Three Contemporary Egalitarian
Ketubah Texts

Many couples choose to use an English contemporary text that provides equal language for the bride and groom and addresses their hopes and visions for the kind of relationship and home they would like to foster. Some combine an English text with the ancient traditional text, or use just an egalitarian text in Hebrew and/or English. A number of such texts have been published, as in Anita Diamant's book, The New Jewish Wedding. The opening lines, what I call the who, what, where, when clause, usually follows the beginning of the traditional contractual language. The last line, and it is all valid and binding, also comes from the traditional text. I am including a few popular texts here to give you an idea of how they are worded. When working with couples, I provide a number of different texts to either use as is, to piece together preferred wording, or to use them as a starting point for writing their own.

Egalitarian Text #1:
(Modeled after a text by Rabbi Gustav Buchdahl, Rabbi Lawrence Kushner, and Rabbi Bernard H. Mehlman.)

On the ____ day of the week, the _______ day of the month of ___________ in the year five thousand seven hundred sixty-________ since the creation of the world, corresponding to the ______ day of the the month of ____________ in the year two thousand _______, in the city of ____________________________________,

The bride ____. daughter of ____ and ____ says to the groom, With this ring you are consecrated unto me as my husband according to the tradition of Moses and the Jewish people. I shall treasure you, nourish you, support you and respect you as Jewish women have devoted themselves to their husbands with integrity.

The groom ____. son of ____ and ____ says to the bride, With this ring you are consecrated unto me as my wife according to the tradition of Moses and the Jewish people. I shall treasure you, nourish you, support you and respect you as Jewish men have devoted themselves to their wives with integrity.

We promise to try to be ever open to one another while cherishing each other's uniqueness; to comfort and challenge each other through life’s sorrow and joy; to share our intuition and insight with one another; and above all, to do everything within our power to permit both of us to become the persons we are yet to be.

We also pledge to establish a home open to the spiritual potential in all life; a home wherein the flow of the seasons and the passages of life are celebrated through the symbols of our Jewish heritage; a home filled with reverence for learning, loving, and generosity; a home wherein ancient melody, candles, and wine sanctify the table; a home joined ever more closely to the community of Israel.

It is all valid and binding. (Note: This sentence is taken from the ending of the traditional text.)

Egalitarian Text #2:
(Modeled after text by Rabbi Bernard Mehlman, Rabbi Gustav Buchdahl, and Rabbi Eugene Lipman.)

On the ____ day of the week, the _______ day of the month of ___________ in the year five thousand seven hundred sixty-____ since the creation of the world, corresponding to the ___ day of the the month of ____ in the year two thousand ___ , in the city of ____________________, the bride, ___________, daughter of ________ and ________, and the groom, ___________, son of _________ and __________, each say to the other: I take you to be mine according to the tradition of Moses and Israel. I shall cherish you and honor you as is customary among the daughters and sons of Israel who have cherished and honored their partners in faithfulness and in integrity.

The bride and groom promise each other to strive throughout their lives together to achieve an openness that will enable them to share their thoughts, their feelings, and their experiences. They pledge to be sensitive at all times to each other's needs; to attain mutual intellectual, emotional, physical and spiritual fulfillment; and to work for the perpetuation of Judaism and of the Jewish people in their home, in their family life, and in their communal endeavors.

It is all valid and binding.

Egalitarian Text #3:

Let our souls be intertwined forever and our devotion without end. Let us be united in faith and in hope. We promise to comfort each other through life’s sorrows and share in life’s joys. May our hearts beat as one.

Together we will build our home as a sanctuary of peace shared with the community of Israel, and all who shall be its friend, and linked eternally with the history of our ancestors and to the future of the Jewish people. We promise to be guided by reverence for the Divine, the teachings of Torah, and committed to deeds of lovingkindness.

As beloveds and friends, we shall encourage each other to pursue our life’s highest goals and to accept with dignity the sacrifices we will have to make in our personal lives to be together. We promise to try to be ever open to one another while cherishing each other’s uniqueness; to comfort and challenge each other through life’s sorrow and joy; to share our intuition and insight with one another; and above all, to do everything within our power to permit each of us to become the persons we are yet to be.

It is all valid and blnding.